DRUNK 1 & DRUNK 2
These drunks should not be here when your mother is not. Put them out, put them out... said the fish in the pot.

I DON'T GET DRUNK - I GET AWESOME
It's a fact. Look it up.

HANS SOLO
Han wasn't the only Solo in the family. His half-brother Hans married a Wookie right after high school and tended bar at the Mos Eisley Brew Haus.

I FACEBOOKED YOUR MOM
And then I super-poked her!

YOU LIKE THIS
You like this Facebook shirt... and all of the sexy underneath it.

FACEBOOK LIKE - BEER!
Thumbs up to this awesome mug of pixelated deliciousness.

RELAX. I'M HILARIOUS.
Calm down the fuck down everybody... I'm here now.

3 SHARK MOON
Because your 3 Wolf Moon shirt makes you look like a sissy.

FANTASY FOOTBALL LEGEND
You've finished in 3rd place... two out of the last 5 seasons. Amazing!

STOP WARS
We're not going to get political here. But who would win a tiny throwdown between an ewok and a jawa? That would be the cutest fight ever.

FREE MUSTACHE RIDES
Save a horse... ride a mustache.

THOSE WERE THE DROIDS YOU WERE LOOKING FOR
You did need to see his identification. Idiot.

A FLOCK OF SEAGALS
Regarded as the most dangerous band of the 1980s, the Seagals once roundhouse-kicked 'Air Supply' right out of the Wisconsin State Fair grounds.

THE RIPPIN' AND THE TEARIN'
Where are the wild women at?

TGIF
Is this week over yet? There is a beer somewhere that I need to get into.

I AM SOFA KING COOL
And you're we todd did.

PARTY LIKE IT'S 2012
The Mayan civilization ended with a bang. Let's go out the same way.

GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, I KILL PEOPLE
That's right sucka. I'll kill ya.

WALLEY WORLD
Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.

SUPPORT SINGLE MOTHERS
$1 from the sale of each shirt goes directly towards a filthy dirty lapper.

MEAT IS MURDER
Maybe eating meat is wrong, maybe it isn't. Who are we to say? But I think we can all agree that Slim Jims are freaking delicious.

PADDLE FASTER I HEAR BANJOS
I bet you can squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee!

YOU'RE AWESOME
Each time you look into the mirror, you'll be reminded how truly sad and weird you are.

WE COME IN PEACE
Earthlings: Please stop shooting at us. We're just dropping in to say hello. Geez.

I SMELL LIKE STRIPPER
It's an entoxicating mixture of cheap perfume, unfiltered cigarettes, pizza rolls, and gin.

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
You were amazing last night. The way you fell down an entire flight of stairs and crushed two waitresses was about as smooth as it gets. This shirt is for you. You've earned it.

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
Your deafening screams were more than enough to get everyones attention. And when you started crying and kicking, you left no doubt that you are nuts and can never be taken out in public again.

SAVE FERRIS!
The key to faking out parents is the clammy hands. A lot of people will tell you a good phony fever is a dead lock. But if you get a nervous mother you could wind up in a doctor's office.

FUTURE TROPHY WIFE
Your future husband will be 25-30 years older than you. Congratulations and enjoy the fellatio!

SAN DIEGO IS GERMAN FOR WHALES VAGINA
Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a "Whale's Vagina".

WE WILL DESTROY YOU
They may look innocent, but these two cold-blooded killers will sand the floor with you and then wax you on and off. Ouch.

I'LL BET YOU $300 I DON'T HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM
You're not a gambling degenerate. What's the big deal? So you sold your mother's wedding ring to get some sweet action on an Arena Football game. It looked like a sure thing.

SCIENTOLOGY "YOU HAD ME AT HELLO"
If it's good enough for Cruise, it's good enough for me!

THIS IS MY PARTY SHIRT
I don't wear party pants.

NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID FARM
Your crappy crops are ruining Facebook.

COLEGE
You've spent 6 years and thousands of dollars on an education. Too bad all you have to show for it is 25 lbs and an untreatable STD.

I GOT WOOD
Hey stud, is that a toothpick in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

DICK IN A BOX
Hey girl... I got something real important to give you.

BEAVER FEVER
There's only one prescription for a case of beaver fever. More beaver!

LOVELY SKULL
If there were such a thing as sexy female pirates, this would surely be their emblam.

I AM TOO BIG TO FAIL
My package doesn't need any stimulus.

BEER!
The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

OFFICIAL GAMBLING LOGO
Are you interested in telling the world you're a sick, low-life, degenerate gambler? Us too. See you in Reno!

DRIVE SHAFT
You all everybody!

I GOTTA HAVE MORE COWBELL
Never question Bruce Dickenson. NEVER.

KEEP LAUGHING... THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S T-SHIRT
Admit it, this wouldn't be the first time you've worn women's clothing. Sicko.

SUCK FOR A BUCK
Who was that drunk lady dancing on the bar with the saggy boobs, covered with candy lifesavers?

I LOVE HOT MOMS
And if she drives a minivan, that's a bonus.

COLLABORATE AND LISTEN
Something grabs a hold of me tightly. Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly.

MOM, DAD: I'M GAELIC
Seriously, I thought you already knew. Why do you think I've been hanging around with those Lord of the Dance guys?

Wii-TARDED
Put down the controller, you're embarrassing yourself.

DRUNK.
Everybody is Irish on St. Patrick's Day.

LET'S GET READY TO STUMBLE!
You look like I need another drink.

DRINK LIKE A CHAMPION TODAY
Drinking may be the only thing in life you're actually good at. Embrace it.

IRISH I WERE DRUNK
Next time you meet a leprechaun, ask him if his name is Shamus O'Malley. If he says yes, kick him in the sack. He's got it coming.

I'M NOT LUCKY - I'M GOOD
Make this a St. Patrick's Day to remember before you black out.

PUNCH ME I'M IRISH
We hope your uncontrolled revelling on St. Patty's Day has no permanent consequences.

CHRISTMAS VACATION HOLIDAY PATTERN
Impress your friends and family (and your cousin Eddie) with this festive holiday apparel.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION
If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas, I have one...

CHRISTMAS STORY LEG LAMP
Light up the room with the soft glow of electric sex.